Advent

Two weeks until Christmas. I love Christmas, I'm a big kid but this year I am so so excited. I have officially finished the small boys shopping 5 times now! Oops! Mum looked after him whilst I turned the house into Christmas. He likes all the lights and glitter but is obsessed with two of the tree decorations! The trees gradually looking less perfect which in itself is perfect!

The issue for the hearing has been resolved. So still waiting for the hearing but with less fear and more excitement now. Not counting chickens until they're hatched (just thought about that saying, quite sad really!) but I am back on concentrating on making this the best Christmas ever!

Small boy has seen Santa twice now, he's really not sure! At least he didn't cry.
Sleep deprevation is in our house as when tidying for Christmas I thought how nice to make the cot up with a duvet and then Santa can leave a full stocking on the end! However I didn't realise that a duvet was the devil! Two nights in and I'm sticking with the guru that is 3 day nannys rules! We will get there, the duvet will become a friend! It's hard though after having a 12 hour plus sleep through child from day 1! Actually he'd prob sleep with no duvet but I feel the need to cover him up.

House rapidly tidied for social worker visit today. It's amazing how quickly that gets done! Especially when last night I chose a large wine over tidying once bath and bed time had been done!

Mixed emotions -final hearing date

Well after wishing and hoping for dates for final hearing (pre Xmas) and celebration hearing (post Xmas) I have dates. Except the judge has requested an action that is the equivalent of poking the hornets nest and could have horrendous consequences.
I'm so excited about christmas and had hoped celebration hearing would be the icing on the cake. Now I'm worrying about what final hearing might bring. People respond in two ways, either dismissive of any issues or panicked which then makes me anxious.
My social worker is one of the worse for doom and gloom scenario.
I'm trying to keep busy, it's like matching panel again except I love this boy so so much that I will fight heaven and earth to keep my son. I'm also maybe a little guilty of spoiling him that much more for our first christmas!
The evenings and bed are worse for those naughty what ifs creeping in! Time will tell, no point worrying too much until I have an actual problem!